Think of a relationship and you may think of a person - a family member, lover or work colleague perhaps? Then imagine how you may utilize your NLP knowledge to make communications better between you and the other person.
I, personally, have adpated my linguistics with certain people to improve our relationship, although I know I still have a long way to go to become even more flexible.
I often wonder about relationships with other things other than people. Relationships with my own happiness, with food and excercise, etc. These relationships, I think, need work too.
Take me and food for instance. I don’t have enough understanding, respect, time or flexibility to improve this relationship… yet. I know (in terms of the big picture) that this relationship will change, although it hasn’t kicked started yet. I also know that if I can master the relationship and adapt the way I communicate internally as part of the relationship, I will control the relationship in a much more positive way. ie. The Law of Requisite Variety.
ps. Any diet strategies greatly recommended after 10 days of kebabs in Cyprus…
How is it that when you are in a rush, time goes oh so quickly. And, when you have time to kill (like waiting for someone or something) it seems to slow right down?
I am currently on holiday and my time in this environment is different from the time I spend at home. I wake, whenever. I eat breakfast, I laze around and I have no care about the time at all. I am relaxed and the time seems worthwhile. Compare that to when I am at home or at work and how time suddenly becomes so much more important as I ‘get stuff done’.
Time, in itself, is a very strange concept when you come to think of it - an illusion. (more…)
I spoke a few days ago about timelines. Possibly one of the richest experiences I have encountered with NLP dating back to my very first NLP Practitioner Course in July 2004. And this is why…
I still remember my Prac course and 15 of us bumbling our way through a whole bunch of techniques. I remember that some people seemed better than others and I remember feeling very uncomfortable on the day of my introduction to Timeline Therapy.
Very briefly, we were to go through the Anger, Sadness, Fear and Guilt routine. I sat down with my partner and chose a nice fluffy problem to deal with about work. (I have since learned that NLP techniques don’t work like that and they somehow get down to more of a root cause, as did my fluffy little problem.) My issue ended up with the realization that I was worrying about death and how my dad had died young and I was next in line, so to speak, which affected the way I was living my life at the time (something I still haven’t quite conquered if I’m honest). (more…)
Listening to friends, family and colleagues I am amazed at how, as people, we manage to communicate at times.
I am talking about statements, where certain information is missing; when someone says something, or asks a question and you end up have to clarify one or more points of what they’ve just said so you can understand what they are specifically talking about before you can respond. (more…)
Time line therapy (from Tad James) is one of my favourite models of NLP and I am looking forward later in the year to trying some new code NLP technique developments I have recently experienced.
Anyway, I digress. Meetings and time keeping. I am through-time. I work to a clock. If someone says 1 o’clock for a meeting, hey, I assume that meeting will start at 1 o’clock.
In-time people are different. Time is not so rigid.
Therein, for me, lies a problem.
So how does that work in business. I have had five meetings this week. One person was half an hour late and not one of them started on time.
I don’t mind being flexible, and yes, I do appreciate that 99 times out of a hundred it’s not life threatening. But is it too much to ask in a professional environment?
My friend, Daryll Scott, who runs Use Your Noggin, a leadership and coaching company in Berkshire, wrote a book about NLP during 2007. He even got a forward by John Grinder.
Anyway, along with his business partner Ben, they have started podcasting and here’s the first one about Performance Discussions performance discussions (also available via iTunes) and he is looking for topics for his next sessions and wants to cover elements of NLP.
So, he mentioned that I could offer a copy of his NLP book free for any great suggestions of topics he could cover as he wants to address real questions that people have. Offer ends on 13th May and is limited to 10 copies so if you have any NLP topics you would like Daryll to cover, you can e-mail him here.
My mother-in-law picked me and my wife up from the funky new Eurostar train station the other day at St Pancras, in the heart of north London.
She got slightly lost, so my wife was on the phone giving directions. It was fascinating (and frustrating) to hear the directions.
In my world, what my wife should have been saying to her mum was that she needed to be coming back down the road she was going and should do a u-turn somewhere. What she was telling her to do was turn left then right or right then left. Wouldn’t that mean she’d be going parallel to the road she was on, still going in the same direction?
Anyway, that’s my world. In their world, they both knew exactly what she meant. I am often baffled, since learning NLP, about how any of us actually communicate in a way where the other person understand us.
A work colleague is going on an NLP Practitioner course in June and I was chatting through it yesterday with him (recognizing the need not to impose my own experience on his). It took me back to when I first ‘found’ NLP.
All through my twenties I remember reading about eastern ‘religions’ such as Buddhism, Taoism, etc. having not really bought into our westernized ways of organized beliefs; looking for something to help make me stronger mentally. I still think these two philosophies especially have an amazing amount to offer… (more…)
I work in the creative industry and part of the sales process involves pitching. I got some great feedback last night (which also applies to many aspects of life when it comes to communication) about pacing an experience - in this case a sale.
My client mentioned that from an initial meeting they had come in wanting one thing, we had effectively up-sold them to a better marketing concept - they loved the ideas. Then we had meeting number two where we presented our ideas, which again they loved.
