Aug
10
Two members of my family aren’t getting on. One of them wants to but has given up I think. They rub each other up the wrong way and the problem is neither of the them will budge.
I found myself in a similar (different context) situation this week. We sent out a marketing communication at work and had two complaints. It maybe worth pointing out that we sent about 400 of the things but I still managed to take it personally that one of these two people told us not to send us our stuff in future. The message was that “we know who you are already”.
I see similarities on these two events purely because of the responses, and, the seemingly lack of willingness to acknowledge the need to be flexible (although it did hit me after a day).
If the meaning of communication is the response you get then surely the communicator needs to be more flexible in their approach. But how many people are really that consistently flexible? I know I can be. I also know that I am not most of the time.
In marketing, there is a tactic whereby you segment data as you collect it so you only send certain messages to certain people. It’s a bit like a Tesco Clubcard where they only give you offers on things that you buy because they have registered everything that you have bought in the past. Some call it intrusive but at the very heart of the system is the fact that they are noting what you like and responding accordingly.
In society where one-size does not fit-all, the need for flexible communications (and flexible outcomes) has never been so necessary. I am glad I spotted this one because when I think about it I haven’t been too flexible myself recently. The noticing is the first part, now down to allowing myself to be even more flexible with my communication.
Tags: General NLP talk, NLP at Work
Jul
14
Flexibility of behaviour and communication is a fundamental facet of NLP in my eyes and one that I sometimes forget - or at least don’t apply enough thought to before, during and after an event.
I did a pitch on Friday for a project I really wanted to win for my business. The team had all worked incredibly hard on the creative work, the presentation was slick and we were confident. Perhaps though, I was too confident. The work was good, I have presented to groups before and have become reasonably good at it, but, when the time came and we entered the customers building (a local council), everything suddenly became very rigid and official.
Strict timings on our presentation, sit here until we call you - all very formal - something I am not used to. Unfortunately, I wasn’t flexible enough in my behaviour and I started to get very nervous. The pitch went well, but I came away quite disturbed at how nervous I had become immediately before and during the presentation. (more…)
Tags: Behaviours, NLP at Work
May
28
I like this gem from Simon Cowell of all people - well his dad.
I’m reading the Piers Morgan diary at the moment and one day he is interviewing Simon Cowell and they discuss his work. Replying to a question about the secrets of his success he talks about “building the hype, but not believing it” and also about the staff he works with.
His dad told him, a long time ago, imagine that they all have an invisible sign on their head saying “Make Me Feel Important”.
When you think about motivation in the work place, it’s a powerful place to start.
Tags: NLP at Work
May
01
Listening to friends, family and colleagues I am amazed at how, as people, we manage to communicate at times.
I am talking about statements, where certain information is missing; when someone says something, or asks a question and you end up have to clarify one or more points of what they’ve just said so you can understand what they are specifically talking about before you can respond. (more…)
Tags: Language, NLP at Work
Apr
30
Time line therapy (from Tad James) is one of my favourite models of NLP and I am looking forward later in the year to trying some new code NLP technique developments I have recently experienced.
Anyway, I digress. Meetings and time keeping. I am through-time. I work to a clock. If someone says 1 o’clock for a meeting, hey, I assume that meeting will start at 1 o’clock.
In-time people are different. Time is not so rigid.
Therein, for me, lies a problem.
So how does that work in business. I have had five meetings this week. One person was half an hour late and not one of them started on time.
I don’t mind being flexible, and yes, I do appreciate that 99 times out of a hundred it’s not life threatening. But is it too much to ask in a professional environment?
Right, rant over.
Tags: NLP at Work, timeline
Apr
11
I work in the creative industry and part of the sales process involves pitching. I got some great feedback last night (which also applies to many aspects of life when it comes to communication) about pacing an experience - in this case a sale.
My client mentioned that from an initial meeting they had come in wanting one thing, we had effectively up-sold them to a better marketing concept - they loved the ideas. Then we had meeting number two where we presented our ideas, which again they loved.
So far so good. (more…)
Tags: NLP at Work
Mar
27
I’m not very good with the book work on many things so if there is a term for it, I don’t know what it is. I’m sure it must be a Milton Model thing as I physically caught myself today pausing during a sentence… so that I could add more emphasis… for the audience.
It’s one of those situations for me, where it seems that what I am doing is SO obvious. In fact I was waiting for some rolling eyes, but no… it went un-noticed… or did it?
Unconsciously, it does create impact.
I was giving a seminar about web marketing (that’s what I do) and unconsciously (my favourite way) as I was speaking I found myself really emphasising elements of the message. Eg.
“So, maybe you can begin to imagine… how by implementing these suggestions… you will see positive results.”
Not saying I pulled it off perfectly, but I did get a round of applause at the end, something one of the delegates mentioned to me afterwards.
Tags: Language, NLP at Work
Mar
26
A simple one that I notice a lot, the mirroring of specific phrases and words - great for rapport building.
I just had an e-mail reply from a colleague, mirroring one of the corny phrases I use a lot “no problemo”, following a nice e-mail I had sent thanking them for helping me out today.
I remember a colleague in a sales meeting that kept mirroring the words the client was using. Our client called marketing speak “propaganda” so my colleague used this back in conversation and rapport was built.
That said, like any rapport, it needs to be in context, not over-familiar too soon. Before you know it (if rapport is building) you will be mirroring more than words…
Tags: NLP at Work, Rapport
Mar
25
So, I had a meeting today that didn’t seem to be achieving much apart from apparent frustration from the people sitting around the table. It’s a regular meeting about scheduling and I had begun to think it was getting a bit pointless.
The meeting centres around communicating workloads, but what was happening was that people were accepting that the system wasn’t working, that they couldn’t have what they want, and just getting a bit pissed off about it. (more…)
Tags: NLP at Work
