Powerful public speaking tips with NLP

When I was 18, I worked for a company of 30 people and the MD decided to introduce a staff meeting on Friday mornings. In this meeting, he would go round the room at random and ask us how our week was going. I used to get petrified that he would ask me and I would have to speak in front of a group of people.

As my business grew and I got older I often have to do talks to colleagues and clients and would get nervous at the thought of it all and then, five years ago, I was asked to be a Best Man at a small wedding abroad, which made me feel physically sick for three days leading up to the day at thought of doing a speech to the 15 guests.

It was shortly after this wedding that I did my NLP Practitioner course and again had nerves at the thought of sitting in front of a group of 20 people as a test subject.

So, I decided that I not only wanted to overcome the fear of speaking in public, I wanted to be a great public speaker. I wanted to be able to stand in front of a group of people, large or small, and feel confident, empowered and be capable of delivering a speech that people commented on in a positive way.

So I made a plan, some of which included NLP techniques I had learned on my course to help me achieve my goal.

Four years later I now give business seminars to groups ranging from 6 to 120 and have just had great feedback on a best man’s speech I delivered to 60 people and what’s more - I feel confident and enjoy the experience of public speaking. So, I wanted to share some of my own experiences and techniques.

Facing the fear

Firstly, back in 2004, I decided that I needed to face the fear. I had to put myself in situations where I had to speak in public. I also knew that I would not be great to start with - I was starting a journey to great public speaking.

So, I purposely set up some seminars that required me to speak in public. The first one or two saw me very nervous, in the lead up to the event, and delivering the first couple of minutes of my speeches. This included dry mouth and visible (to me) shaking but I persevered with one thought - and it’s a thought I keep in mind even now 4 years later.

Every time I do a speech, seminar or some form of public speaking, I am simply honing my craft to get better. Some may go great, some may go so great but each one is effectively a practice.

It’s amazing how much pressure this takes off of your mind when preparing and delivering a speech and how much better it allowed me to be at dissecting my ‘performance’ so that I could get better for the next time.

This really started on a larger scale in 2005 when I committed to a 75 minute seminar for 120 people. Was I nervous? Yes. How long into my speech did it last? About 1 minute. How did I feel afterwards? Amazing.

Modelling Performance

I checked out some of the big names of public speaking in business, entertainment and comedy. By simply mimicking these people, I realised new forms of delivering my speeches that worked well together, taking facets of experts and making my own presenting style. Favourites included (and there are loads inspirational speakers at TED):

The Internet is now awash with online videos of speeches and great examples to follow and there are an amazing amount of resources when it comes to modelling experts and speaking in public.

As well as modelling some great speakers, I was also lucky enough to spend some time with a coach who was also a jobbing actor. He taught me some great mouth exercises that helped me use more of my mouth when I spoke.

Flexible Outcomes

Being flexible with outcomes is a more recent discovery for my public speaking, but a great one just the same. Often when I used to prepare for a public speaking engagement of one sort or another, I would have a goal in mind which was pretty rigid - something I wanted to achieve. ie. A recent episode was a sales pitch where I desperately wanted to win it.

The problem with a rigid outcome is that it reduces flexibility and I have realised that the more I simply focus on my goal of getting better each time I speak, the more license I give myself to relax, deliver a great speech, and, get better at the process.

Losing Self Image

Perhaps one of the most important worries that you can get rid of with public speaking is the fear of looking stupid or making a mistake. Again, this is an outcome that may or may not happen and I found that after the first or second time that happens, you realised that it’s no big deal.

In fact, depending on the scenario, the mishaps that may happen often can be used to your advantage, utilising them for a quick laugh (always good for relaxing yourself and the audience) or proving that you aren’t a scripted robot. They actually add to your flexibility as a public speaker.

Practice and Test

Feedback is all I take note of when it comes to public speaking and even that can be somewhat objective. But, the more I practice, the more I know my stuff and the more I test it beforehand, the better prepared I am for a whole host of potential outcomes.

As I hone my presentation skills, I have learned to take objective and constructive comments on board and ignore the personal ones. I just keep practicing my public speaking and I know, from feedback, that I am continually developing and improving my techniques.

Specific NLP Techniques I use for Public Speaking

There are some specific NLP techniques from my training that I use for speeches that may see me get nervous in the run-up to an event (I’m still not perfect) and also as I hone my delivery and speakng style.

Anchoring

I find anchoring incredibly relaxing in the run up to an event. I recently gave a best man’s speech and used the technique to create an anchor of relaxed confidence. I spent a lot of time bilding up my anchorer and every time I got nervous on the day I fired it off and relaxed.

Submodality Shifting

Again, I used this NLP technique on myself the run-up to the same speech, eliciting the sub-modalities of my nervous state and moving them to my state of confidence.

Speech Delivery -Milton Model Language Patterns

I have always love the Milton Model Language patterns and use the these unconsciously when I deliver my speeches. I have seen them overused and am probably guilty of that in the past myself, but [expecially] pausing… in the right place… can really make a difference.

Public Speaking Delivery - Loops

I have started to implement loops into some of my speeches and I am just practicing them slowly as I have heard some used by other speakers that are so transparent, it’s embarrassing.

The idea is that you start a story but don’t finish it. The unconscious mind of the audience members then start to search for the end of the story in your speech, effectively making them more attentive to what you are saying. You deliver the end of the story a little later on, at which time the audience breathe a sigh of relief and the content of your speech is much more memorable.

Stand-up comedians use this technique a lot - two that spring to mind being Harry Hill and Billy Connolly.

Summary

I continue to find public speaking a very empowering thing in my life and each time I deliver a speech, I know that I get a little better at it. A lot of this is down to application and desire.

Whereas many people may see public speaking a chore, or a situation that they want to ‘get out of the way’, I have made it my goal to seek it out, enjoy it and develop it as a skill.

I wouldn’t say I am the best in the world, but I would say that every time I deliver a speech or speak in public I get a little better and I learn something new.

If public speaking is something you want to do, or improve on; commit to getting better, learn to love the process and enjoy seeing yourself getting more confident every time you speak in public.

{ 1 trackback }

Everyday NLP Diary : My re-introduction to NLP Modelling: 11.07.08 at 7:03 am

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

a reader 09.26.08 at 6:37 pm: Hey loved your website, have you looked at The radical Change group. I think you guys will get along great, you seem to share some similar traits