Aug
29
I did some change work with someone last night - something I haven’t done for a long time. Plenty of time distortion linguistics, some submodality change work and showing the client how to create an anchor and make it more potent themselves.
One thing I noticed was my constant chase to develop rapport with the client. This person had had an NLP experience before, along with all the comments from friends about what NLP is, and it was interesting to note the hesitancy about what may, or may not, happen during the session.
So, I spent most of the time developing rapport, with the change work almost a side issue. Change did take place, and I’d like to think when we meet again next week, last night’s session would have enabled me to start further down the line and achieve even more change.
As a non-practicing practitioner I always wonder about my own competence during these sessions and my ability to maximise the effect of any change work. What worries me most, however, is the competence of people out there doing this for a living, with money changing hands.
Tags: General NLP talk
Aug
10
Two members of my family aren’t getting on. One of them wants to but has given up I think. They rub each other up the wrong way and the problem is neither of the them will budge.
I found myself in a similar (different context) situation this week. We sent out a marketing communication at work and had two complaints. It maybe worth pointing out that we sent about 400 of the things but I still managed to take it personally that one of these two people told us not to send us our stuff in future. The message was that “we know who you are already”.
I see similarities on these two events purely because of the responses, and, the seemingly lack of willingness to acknowledge the need to be flexible (although it did hit me after a day).
If the meaning of communication is the response you get then surely the communicator needs to be more flexible in their approach. But how many people are really that consistently flexible? I know I can be. I also know that I am not most of the time.
In marketing, there is a tactic whereby you segment data as you collect it so you only send certain messages to certain people. It’s a bit like a Tesco Clubcard where they only give you offers on things that you buy because they have registered everything that you have bought in the past. Some call it intrusive but at the very heart of the system is the fact that they are noting what you like and responding accordingly.
In society where one-size does not fit-all, the need for flexible communications (and flexible outcomes) has never been so necessary. I am glad I spotted this one because when I think about it I haven’t been too flexible myself recently. The noticing is the first part, now down to allowing myself to be even more flexible with my communication.
Tags: General NLP talk, NLP at Work
