The inferential request
This one always makes me laugh and is a constant source of mocking (on part part). My wife, who has also attended an NLP Practitioner course, has a certain way of asking for a cup of tea in our house. She’ll never just ask for a cup of tea. She will use a phrase like “I’d love a cup of tea”, or “I’m thirsty”. I know what’s she saying but WHY NOT JUST ASK FOR A DRINK!
It’s another language ambiguity as far as I’m concerned (on my part) and from my learnings is part of complex meta programs regarding listening styles. ie. Will I hear the actual request and act on it, or just hear it and do nothing? The difference being in the request - literal vs. inferential. Her inference - that by suggesting she is thirsty I will recognize that she wants a cup of tea - requires an element of mind-read on my part.
My flexibility with this common occurrence has allowed me to be able to deliver all sorts of requests more efficiently. Sometimes I may get it wrong, but at least it starts dialogue to keep digging for the “so what is it that you actually want” question. The benefit of which is that the other person achieves their goal and MAY recognize me as the person that gave it to them.
Like so many aspects of NLP, it’s simply another form of ‘translation’ of the communication. It’s a case of noticing the language behind the language.
Tags: Meta programs