Mar
27
I’m not very good with the book work on many things so if there is a term for it, I don’t know what it is. I’m sure it must be a Milton Model thing as I physically caught myself today pausing during a sentence… so that I could add more emphasis… for the audience.
It’s one of those situations for me, where it seems that what I am doing is SO obvious. In fact I was waiting for some rolling eyes, but no… it went un-noticed… or did it?
Unconsciously, it does create impact.
I was giving a seminar about web marketing (that’s what I do) and unconsciously (my favourite way) as I was speaking I found myself really emphasising elements of the message. Eg.
“So, maybe you can begin to imagine… how by implementing these suggestions… you will see positive results.”
Not saying I pulled it off perfectly, but I did get a round of applause at the end, something one of the delegates mentioned to me afterwards.
Tags: Language, NLP at Work
Mar
26
A simple one that I notice a lot, the mirroring of specific phrases and words - great for rapport building.
I just had an e-mail reply from a colleague, mirroring one of the corny phrases I use a lot “no problemo”, following a nice e-mail I had sent thanking them for helping me out today.
I remember a colleague in a sales meeting that kept mirroring the words the client was using. Our client called marketing speak “propaganda” so my colleague used this back in conversation and rapport was built.
That said, like any rapport, it needs to be in context, not over-familiar too soon. Before you know it (if rapport is building) you will be mirroring more than words…
Tags: NLP at Work, Rapport
Mar
25
So, I had a meeting today that didn’t seem to be achieving much apart from apparent frustration from the people sitting around the table. It’s a regular meeting about scheduling and I had begun to think it was getting a bit pointless.
The meeting centres around communicating workloads, but what was happening was that people were accepting that the system wasn’t working, that they couldn’t have what they want, and just getting a bit pissed off about it. (more…)
Tags: NLP at Work
Mar
22
Every Saturday, at about 6pm, I pour myself a beer, put some olives in a dish and sit down and watch Harry Hill on the TV. I don’t forget if I am at home, it’s like an in-built alarm.
Earlier today my sister-in-law was telling me how her dad starts humming the theme tune to India Jones whenever he gets a little stressed. I might try humming it next time I see him just to test it.
Like Pavlov’s dogs, we all tend to have things that flick our switch. (more…)
Tags: Strategies
Mar
20
Yes, choice again. Because it’s all a choice, isn’t it? Believe it or not, the way you feel and your actions are all choices.
“He makes me feel bad”, or “That always happens to me” are all choices and decisions we make. That’s why you may meet someone with the most debilitating situation that is still on top of the world, compared to someone who has everything going for them who still feels like the world is against them. (more…)
Tags: General NLP talk
Mar
20
So, three days in and this Blog is doing what I wanted (needed). I am beginning to notice more, which is good. I have also noticed how I have chosen to ignore quite a few things - mainly my own ’stuff’ - which is the short-term easy option - brush it under the carpet.
This was highlighted to me metaphorically as I drove home last night following a person round a roundabout. I knew that they were going to cut the roundabout - every indication was there - but, I still chose to try and cut in on the inside, which left me frustrated when they cut across. What is that all about? (more…)
Tags: Behaviours
Mar
19
This one always makes me laugh and is a constant source of mocking (on part part). My wife, who has also attended an NLP Practitioner course, has a certain way of asking for a cup of tea in our house. She’ll never just ask for a cup of tea. She will use a phrase like “I’d love a cup of tea”, or “I’m thirsty”. I know what’s she saying but WHY NOT JUST ASK FOR A DRINK!
It’s another language ambiguity as far as I’m concerned (on my part) (more…)
Tags: Meta programs
Mar
18
One of my biggest learnings recently came from a Human Element course I took in November last year and it keeps popping it’s head up (which is a good thing). Although not NLP, as such, the course taught me a great lesson about noticing my own behaviour (among other things).
The premise is that the behaviour I see in someone else (usually annoying in my case) is effectively my own behaviour. The noticing acts as a mirror. I wasn’t so sure to start with but the more I noticed, the more I realized - that’s me that is. I do that… and it annoys me that I do it.
(more…)
Tags: Behaviours
Mar
18
So last night I sat down at 9pm to watch Alternative Therapies on BBC2 - a short series scientifically following some alternative therapies. There’s not much time to cover the subject of hypnotherapy in one hour so I was expecting a simple overview and all the same, I was still slightly disappointed with what I saw.
I know what I know about hypnosis in terms of implied suggestion - the vaguer the better - using Milton language patterns to induce ‘trance’ and embed further suggestions to the unconscious mind. That, and the bedrock of rapport.
(more…)
Tags: Language, Hypnotherapy
Mar
17
The thing I love about NLP is the pure linguistics. I still remember leaving my first NLP Practioner course feeling like Neo from The Matrix. Suddenly I could hear what was actually being said behind what was being said.
Of course, that’s a bit of a mind-read on my part as I imposed my meaning on someone else’s language. I digress.
One area of playing with words that often makes me question what I say is generalizations and I have gotten better at using them less, and recognizing when I am using them. And, I love it when I can help someone else with the same ‘word blindness’.
(more…)
Tags: Language
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