Jun
30
I’ll learn one day, hopefully soon.
I’ll learn that when my unconcious mind is literally shouting at me not to do something, perhaps I shouldn’t let my conscious mind overrule. Especially as I know from past experience that it usually ends up with me losing out in one form or other.
Two recent scenarios
- Last night I had a sneaky cheese sandwich at 9pm even though I knew I wouldn’t sleep well because of it and hey, I had a shite nights sleep.
- At work, I recently took on a company on a retainer for three months, even though my unconcious mind was telling me they weren’t worth it. Two months in I am money down and not a happy customer.
Perhaps it’s a case of relaxing more and allowing my unconscious mind to build up his persuasive voice. Perhaps it’s just a case of doing what I am (unconciously) told.
Tags: Behaviours
Jun
11
I work with words. I read them and write them and sometimes, like a fool, I think I own the exclusive meaning of them.
But, with all the will in the world, a dictionary can not do justice to a word, neither can a persons explanation. And, I still find many people with the same ideology - that they ‘know’ what a word means.
With my NLP hat on, I am reminded of concept that the ‘Map is Not The Territory’. There is some interesting ‘words’ about this on Wikipedia.
So, why the noise from me this morning? (more…)
Tags: Language
May
31
So, I have come to the conclusion, as I get in my late thirties… that I am fat. I always played the ‘chubby’ card, that I am big-boned, but, alas, it is definitely fat. In fact, for the last couple of years, I have become lazier as well which has seen me head in the wrong direction.
To be honest, it’s a constant battle I’ve had since an early teenage and I very rarely don’t put up a good fight, if at all. I know (I just know, right) through timeline work that the weight will come off and I will end up being quite a healthy person, and I also think I am very nearly there ready for action.
In fact, I may have started already this week. Not by consciously attacking the bad foods I eat, but by understanding that I eat usually because I am bored. It has nothing to do with hunger.
I have been busy, developing new habits (or patterns) that work on the boredom, rather than the eating itself. It’s a bummer right now, as I have a bad back and want to exercise, but I can foresee a time in the VERY near future that I will be changing habits even more in the direction of a healthy lifestyle.
A little bit of history
When I first did timeline back on my NLP Practitioner Course in 2004, something came out of nowhere for me to do with being scared of death and my father, who died at the age of 49 of a heart attack, a month before my 18th birthday.
What surfaced from my unconscious mind during this experience was that I was always getting told how much like my dad I am. My mind was reading this as a “well, I better hurry up and ruin my body for an early death then” - it was a powerful experience as you may imagine.
The future
Of course, when these things surface, you can work on them (you gotta love timeline therapy), and I have, in so many ways. I also believe it’s down to me now to get healthy and the time is nigh to work it out.
I always found a lot of NLP techniques a bit shallow for this quest though, like changing a ‘like to a dislike’ or strategies - perhaps I just haven’t done them that well in the past? I do think it’s more than that though, understanding a higher level of NLP so that you can just ‘work on yourself’ surreptitiously in the background.
So, my confidence is high and my boredom is being quashed with new habits. This includes one that may sound rather mundane - pottering round the house and garden doing little things that need doing - double whammy that one. And partly the reason for my bad back I fear that has to carry my weight and more when I am lifting.
Losing weight, or in fact Living a Health Lifestyle, always interests me and a way for me to find the perfect balance, so please feel free to share your thoughts with me.
Tags: General NLP talk, timeline
May
28
I like this gem from Simon Cowell of all people - well his dad.
I’m reading the Piers Morgan diary at the moment and one day he is interviewing Simon Cowell and they discuss his work. Replying to a question about the secrets of his success he talks about “building the hype, but not believing it” and also about the staff he works with.
His dad told him, a long time ago, imagine that they all have an invisible sign on their head saying “Make Me Feel Important”.
When you think about motivation in the work place, it’s a powerful place to start.
Tags: NLP at Work
May
20
I am sure we have some sort of wireless networking going on between us. Creating and maintaining rapport for instance.
My wife and I often say things at the same time and I am proud of that level of rapport. I also recently spent some time with a person I feel is quite negative in the way they speak, and I found it actually bring me down over a period.
I guess the answer is to spend more time with positive, loving people and ramp up the wireless networking. I went to an event last year and saw a guy called Gary Bertwhistle (I blogged about it). One thing I got from his talk was his comments about surrounding yourself with your own personal ‘council’ - a group of friends, colleagues, etc. who act as your own personal support group…
Surround yourself with the right people - attitude - you can’t do it alone. Who’s your council? Does it need an update? Recognise who it is and does it need changing - what’s missing? Are they holding you back? Are their people you can add who will help you ‘raise your roof’?
Some people scoff at happy people - “it’s not natural” - why is that? Certainly not people to include in my council I think…
Tags: General NLP talk
May
14
Think of a relationship and you may think of a person - a family member, lover or work colleague perhaps? Then imagine how you may utilize your NLP knowledge to make communications better between you and the other person.
I, personally, have adpated my linguistics with certain people to improve our relationship, although I know I still have a long way to go to become even more flexible.
I often wonder about relationships with other things other than people. Relationships with my own happiness, with food and excercise, etc. These relationships, I think, need work too.
Take me and food for instance. I don’t have enough understanding, respect, time or flexibility to improve this relationship… yet. I know (in terms of the big picture) that this relationship will change, although it hasn’t kicked started yet. I also know that if I can master the relationship and adapt the way I communicate internally as part of the relationship, I will control the relationship in a much more positive way. ie. The Law of Requisite Variety.
ps. Any diet strategies greatly recommended after 10 days of kebabs in Cyprus…
Tags: General NLP talk
May
13
How is it that when you are in a rush, time goes oh so quickly. And, when you have time to kill (like waiting for someone or something) it seems to slow right down?
I am currently on holiday and my time in this environment is different from the time I spend at home. I wake, whenever. I eat breakfast, I laze around and I have no care about the time at all. I am relaxed and the time seems worthwhile. Compare that to when I am at home or at work and how time suddenly becomes so much more important as I ‘get stuff done’.
Time, in itself, is a very strange concept when you come to think of it - an illusion. (more…)
Tags: General NLP talk
May
03
I spoke a few days ago about timelines. Possibly one of the richest experiences I have encountered with NLP dating back to my very first NLP Practitioner Course in July 2004. And this is why…
I still remember my Prac course and 15 of us bumbling our way through a whole bunch of techniques. I remember that some people seemed better than others and I remember feeling very uncomfortable on the day of my introduction to Timeline Therapy.
Very briefly, we were to go through the Anger, Sadness, Fear and Guilt routine. I sat down with my partner and chose a nice fluffy problem to deal with about work. (I have since learned that NLP techniques don’t work like that and they somehow get down to more of a root cause, as did my fluffy little problem.) My issue ended up with the realization that I was worrying about death and how my dad had died young and I was next in line, so to speak, which affected the way I was living my life at the time (something I still haven’t quite conquered if I’m honest). (more…)
Tags: timeline
May
01
Listening to friends, family and colleagues I am amazed at how, as people, we manage to communicate at times.
I am talking about statements, where certain information is missing; when someone says something, or asks a question and you end up have to clarify one or more points of what they’ve just said so you can understand what they are specifically talking about before you can respond. (more…)
Tags: Language, NLP at Work
Apr
30
Time line therapy (from Tad James) is one of my favourite models of NLP and I am looking forward later in the year to trying some new code NLP technique developments I have recently experienced.
Anyway, I digress. Meetings and time keeping. I am through-time. I work to a clock. If someone says 1 o’clock for a meeting, hey, I assume that meeting will start at 1 o’clock.
In-time people are different. Time is not so rigid.
Therein, for me, lies a problem.
So how does that work in business. I have had five meetings this week. One person was half an hour late and not one of them started on time.
I don’t mind being flexible, and yes, I do appreciate that 99 times out of a hundred it’s not life threatening. But is it too much to ask in a professional environment?
Right, rant over.
Tags: NLP at Work, timeline
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